I spent time with colleagues recently at the Equality Project's 5th annual Better Together 2023 Conference. This conference is always an amazing way to broaden my perspectives, connect with people from outside of the early childhood sector, and to bring the fire back into my advocacy for queer children and their families.
Jason, the founder of the Equality Project, kicked the conference off with a short speech. He spoke about his experience of hiding who he was, scared for his safety. He shared his coming out story. He told us of the amazing life, and business, he has built for himself with his husband and son.
Jason's story isn't unfamiliar to me. While his experiences as a child and young person hurt my heart and pull me further into my wanting for a better world for all children (so that coming out is no longer something that has to happen, let alone for someone to fear), it wasn't the story that drew me in. It was Jason's authenticity.
Authenticity is the act of being real. It's the act of showing up, removing the mask and presenting your whole self to the spaces and places you occupy. This is hard work (and I don't discount that in some places and spaces showing up authentically can be exhausting and/or unsafe).
I've strived for years to be authentic in my approach to working with people, whether that be the children I educate and care for, the families I support, or the educators I serve. Authenticity, for me, aligns strongly with my core value of integrity. It's about being who I am in the way that I speak, the support and leadership I provide, and the messages I send.
At times this has been tough. Being authentic has meant needing to take professional risks: holding International Women's Day events at my service, putting up Rainbow Families posters when I'm not entirely sure of the response, and sharing ideas that needing when others are known to have very different, and loud, opinions.
Fortunately, practicing the skill of authenticity over and over again, usually in fairly safe workplaces, has allowed me the space to grow and commit myself deeper to this sector. Something I am extremely proud of is that the me you see and hear from online is the exact same me you will meet in person. A dear friend presented me an amazing gift recently. She had arranged for our team to share one or two thoughts about one another. She then compiled them into a single document and presented them to each of us. Not so much to my surprise, but to my sheet delight, my authentic self shone through on the page and it affirmed to me that everything I had strived for, all the work I had put into being exactly who you see today, had paid off.
Something we hear a lot, particularly as women and particularly in leadership roles, is to fake it 'til you make it. Great advice for tackling Imposter Syndrome, which can be a debilitating nightmare! However, when it comes to authenticity, faking it really isn't an option. You either are, or you aren't. Because let me tell you, while faking it might get you places quicker, it won't last. People see through a lack of authenticity and your quick rise will soon crumble when you're caught out.
If you're wondering what authenticity might look like for you, or what it might look like from a leadership perspective in early childhood spaces, I would start here with these two simple, yet sometimes hard to accomplish in real life, ideas:
1. Try your best - no matter what you're doing, whether it's taking a family on a tour, mentoring an educator, or rocking a baby to sleep, be present, be mindful, and give everything you have to that moment. Distractions are a part of life and I'm guessing that to-do list is pretty long right now, but taking those moments to allow yourself to just be can help you step into that place of true authenticity.
2. Boundaries - knowing when and how to set appropriate and professional boundaries is a key to being an authentic leader. If you're constantly saying yes to things you don't have time for, or don't fill your metaphorical bucket, then you aren't in fact being true to yourself. Opportunities come and go, tasks will always be there, know in you're heart what's important to take on and what can fall to the wayside.
If those two ideas seem daunting, that's ok! Working and leading from a place if authenticity can certainly be challenging! You can intentionally work at authenticity by:
1. Know your story and share it - reflect on how you came to be where you are now. What were the lessons learned? What were the challenges overcome? What were the experiences and ideas that changed the way you think and work? These collections of stories come together like a puzzle, revealing a unique and authentic you to the world. I would encourage you to share that story, with trusted friends and colleagues, or even more publicly in blogs such as this.
2. Learn from your experiences and apply your learnings - those parts of your story that got you learning, reflecting, changing? Lean into those! Allow those to be a catalyst of growth and connection to a deeper sense of self as a professional.
3. Lean into your values - if something doesn't feel right, don't do it. Allow your values to guide you like a compass. These are the internal barometer of authenticity and the quickest way to find that space.
I'd love to hear about your authentic self. I would love to hear how leading in this way as challenged you, what you've learnt and how you've grown in your work, so comment below! If you're interested in working with me to uncover your authentic self or to grow this part of your leadership, then get in touch with me via socials or email.
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